I'm scared that in two years time, when I come out of the army and take a look at the people and things around me, they'd have changed. Changed too much for me to handle, to accept, to overcome.
xjohtox; posted @ 7:46 PM
Saturday, October 22, 2011
I think grief is consuming me. I think so, because I'm putting aside things that are important; I don't think rationally any more.
It's how I handle things. It's wrong. I should change. But it's how I handle things.
xjohtox; posted @ 5:09 PM
Friday, October 21, 2011
What has defined my life? Part 1 of as many as it takes for me to complete them in full concentration.
It's so hard for me to face the truth.
I started off with so much promise. Promise is a crockpot of bullshit if you don't develop it and then sustain it. It has come to nought because it was abandoned halfway. Granted, primary school was easy, but then again it takes a certain ability at that age to do so well.
My academic success defined me until age nine. Study was my life, and I enjoyed the feeling when the papers came back with excellent scores on them. 100/100 in math every test, albeit spurred by the incentive of sharks-fin soup. Getting into GEP was the turning point.
Or maybe it was the computer that did it. The internet mesmerized me. I don't even know how I started surfing, started playing games, started being addicted to all that the world wide web had to offer. Then again, that is the power of the internet. It is so pervasive. I think this is trying to shy away from the blame. I should have had the personal willpower to moderate my usage and temper my urges.
You see, that's how it began.
xjohtox; posted @ 8:16 PM
Sunday, July 17, 2011
I read interesting things. I re-post them.
"Sponsorship, which often involves an older, married male spending one-on-one time, often off site and after hours, with a younger, unmarried female, can look like an affair; and the greater the power disparity between the male and the female, the more intense the speculation becomes that the relationship is more than professional. If the woman is subsequently promoted, her achievement will be undermined by office gossip that she earned it illicitly..."
A Woman's Place by Ken Auletta The New Yorker
xjohtox; posted @ 6:33 PM
Thursday, June 23, 2011
"Our journey as human beings is not about following a preordained path, but about creating that path. Life rarely makes any more sense when things are done 'in order'. Life makes sense when we are centered in our own hearts and we let go of resisting how our own unique journey needs to unfold on its own beautiful, unruly way."
xjohtox; posted @ 9:49 PM
Saturday, June 18, 2011
http://jerrybrito.org/post/6114304704/top-ten-myths-about-introverts
xjohtox; posted @ 2:47 AM
Saturday, June 11, 2011
'And behind a very sturdily-built and staunchly-defended facade of practical, unromantic, hard-headedness towards life, there was just that little pool of softness that would never show if you poked for it, but could be reached if you knew just how- and never let on that you were looking for it.' Foundation and Empire
xjohtox; posted @ 4:36 PM The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.